In This Sweet Madness, This Glorious Sadness
by absenceofstars
Summary: Title pending. One year after the revolution, Evey's a very different person, but she is still haunted by memories. Some more then others. Movie spoilers.
1. The Glorious Sadness

**Authors Note:** For SilverArrow112's contest, Velvet. Yay. Not everything's included yet, so be patient, and enjoy… Bwahaha.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own V or any of the related characters, et cetera. Almost wish I did, though.

**In This Sweet Madness, This Glorious Sadness  
**by xDante

Chapter One

-

Darkness had long ago settled across the rain washed streets of Evey's home town. She had lived there all her life, and she knew the streets well. She had walked these streets day after day, night after night, moving at the same pace, skipping the same curbs, greeting the same people, every day for the past year. Every day, she walked to work, and home again. Every day, she made dinner for one, alone in her new apartment. Every day, her heart mistakenly skipped a beat as something tall, dark, and hidden caught her eye. And every day, she faced those same painful memories.

They were in the eye of the storm, Evey thought. A little more then year had past since she had taken part in destroying what remained of the British government, and the revolt had settled down. People had started to come back into their lives, and changes had been made for the better. The curfew had been lifted, and the new government was only just beginning to reform the country. Everyone was happier now. Almost.

She no longer called herself Evey. Every time she said it, it made her heart ache. She recalled the way he put so much emphasis on the second syllable. In the year since the revolution had begun, her hair had slowly began to grow. It was nearly to her shoulders now, and it still held its wave perfectly, but it was no longer the shade of deep chestnut it had once been. Unsure of her safety, she had become a blonde to protect her identity. She did not see herself the same way anymore. Now, when she looked in the mirror, she hated herself. She told herself that by changing her name and appearance, she was scorning his memory.

It was beginning to get cold. Her pace quickened, and she hugged her arms close about her to warm herself. She could feel the soft tap of rain on her coat; it was starting again. As she rounded a corner, finally drawing close to her home, she felt an icy splash around her right ankle.

"Shit," she muttered quietly, "I just bought these shoes."

The rain had pooled in the rain gutters, and she had unexpectedly stepped in a small puddle. With a sigh, a shake of her head, and a wet foot, she continued on her way.

She was almost home. Hesitantly, she took a dark shortcut to keep dry. Shadows began to crawl around her, though she knew it was just the wind, and the reflections of light on the raindrops. But no. There was someone on the fire escape there. She stopped, a little frightened now.

"Who's there?" She called to the dark shadow crouched behind the thick metal bars. "Who are you?"

There was no answer.

"Why are you out here?" She cried again, taking a few steps closer. "You'll get soaked."

Still no answer.

She paused a moment, still gazing at what she was sure was someone. She could feel the persons gaze on her, the way she had always known when he was looking at her.

She had only taken a few steps in the direction of her building when she heard it.

"Evey."

She stood stalk still, back towards the crouched figure on the platform. Her eyes were wide. She must have misheard the word; must have imagined the deep voice she recalled. Slowly, sue turned to face the shadow.

"…Who are you?" She repeated, though this time the words were whispered, quietly and quickly.

The figure was silent in response.

"How do you know my name?" Said Evey, more aggressively. This was impossible. There was no way. No way. She had been so careful; the only person who could know her was… But that was ridiculous.

"Don't you remember, Evey?" Came the deep, familiar voice from the shadow.

"No… No." She muttered, feeling a bit light headed. She was talking more to herself then the figure. "No. Impossible. No, no, no. I've gone mad. This is insanity." Her focus then returned to the person on the fire escape. "Who _are_ you?"

Slowly, the man stood. He was tall, but still cast in shadow. His silhouette was solid—a cape, perhaps?—and he wore a hat. But still, Evey thought, it was preposterous. Nonsensical to even think such things.

"No—no! Leave me alone," She called, turning away from the man again. She began to walk swiftly, though wobbly in her tall heels.

As she fled, she heard the _swish_ and _thud_ of the man leaping over the balcony.

"Wait, Evey."

There it was again. The name that was no longer hers. The name she cast away with the body of the man she loved. The man she _knew_ was dead. The man who was now standing behind her, regardless of—or in spite of—his apparent death.

Evey stopped. "No." Slowly, she turned again. "I am not Evey any—"

She could not finish her sentence, however. What she saw had her shocked.Her jaw dropped. Her head whirled. There was no doubt in her mind anymore. It had to be… Her breath was shallow, her deep chocolate eyes terrified. Darkness closed over her vision. She felt the hard pavement on her back. She heard slow, steady footsteps coming her way. And she faded.


	2. The Sweet Madness

**Authors Note: **Yay, another chapter. Yes, I _realize_ the chapter titles are opposite from the title. I don't care, cause each title goes better with the chapter. Anyway. So it's not the best fic… but I'm trying, okay? Gawd… I'm not even sure if I'll finish this one. I like it, but I don't know where to go with it and it is COMPLETELY different from my original plans. Not that I don't like it, but… well. Okay. So, maybe it is that I don't like it. But you don't have to know that, eh?Hee hee, I included hardwood floors without even realizing! Woot. And it might read a little differently, seeing as I spent the _entire_ day reading C.S. Lewis: Chronicles of Narnia (the end of the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; all of the Magicians Nephew; and the beginning of A Horse and His Boy). That's a lot of Mr. C.S., isn't it? Obviously reading that much, his writing style's rubbed off on me a bit.Anyway... on with the story.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own V or any related characters. Man could I ever be rich if I did, though, eh? –day dreams- Could buy my own damn Hugo.

**In This Sweet Madness, This Glorious Sadness  
**by xDante

Chapter Two

-

Evey let out a soft, muffled groan. _Oh **god**, my head,_ she thought, scrunching her face with pain. _What happened…?_

She bolted up right as she remembered. There had been a man, and he had said that he was… But she knew that couldn't be true. He had followed her as she attempted to flee, and she had turned around and… well, and fainted. _Why…? _She asked herself, for the fall had knocked her a little silly. The mask… The genuine mask… The one scarred with bullet marks and dirt and possibly even a little bit of blood. The one V had worn when he died.

For the first time, Evey looked around. She knew these surroundings impossibly well, but did not know how V could know them. How did V know where her new apartment was? Had he been watching her, all those cold nights she walked alone through the dark streets, feeling eyes on her back? Had he actually been there in those shadows she convinced herself she was imagining? Evey felt chills on her neck, and she shuddered slightly as she slipped her legs over the side of the couch. If he had been, why hadn't he just revealed himself?

She stood, slowly and gently. Evey was alone in the room. She felt the chilled wood floor underfoot, and realized that her probably-ruined velvet stilettos had been removed. How unusual, she thought, taking a few slow steps away from the couch. She looked around once more. Where had he gone?

Evey could not hear her soft footsteps on the hardwood floor. She walked very gingerly, very silently, although she was not positive why. She slipped down the hall and cautiously peered around the corner into the kitchen. V was not there, either.

Puzzled, she turned to the small staircase leading to her bedroom. She decided that it would be very awkward, indeed, to find V in her bedroom. She climbed the stairs anyway. Quietly, she looked through the doorway. That room was empty, as well.

_Have I just had a very peculiar dream?_ Evey asked herself, for a dingy yellow sun was now shining through the east-facing windows. She felt safer and calmer now that she was sure there was no one in her house. Down the stairs she went, rubbing the back of her head where a small bump had developed. She caught a glimpse of herself in the hall mirror. What a sight she was!

"Ugh, I'm a wreck! What _has_ happened to me," exclaimed Evey out of shock of her terrible appearance.

Her short, wavy blonde hair was slightly matted, very messy, and particularly stringy. Her mascara had run—probably from the rain, for she did not remember crying—and now left faded black circles around her eyes as well as a pale black stream down one cheek. She could not see an inch of herself that was not streaked with dirt, dust, or dried rain water. She instantly went off to take a shower.

-

Evey spent most of that day sitting at her tall kitchen table with a hot water bottle on for her splitting headache and a book. She had several cups of tea and one 'small' glass of scotch in the afternoon, because her nerves were bouncing off of her insides so hard she thought they might pierce her skin and go shooting off to mars. She could hardly concentrate on the book she was reading, and she had become very tense. If that man had been the _real_ V, and he was not, in fact, dead, then he would certainly return. At least, if she knew him the way she thought she did. He was not the type to leave her and not check up to see how she was. Which she had, of course, learned from previous experiences.

And she most certainly turned out to be correct in this matter.

The sun had set not long ago and the sky was still tainted with its scummy, frail light. Evey now sat with another glass of scotch in one hand, and the hot water bottle pressed against her head with the other. Her eyes were closed, the book splayed open on the table to keep her place.

The young woman took another swallow of the drink. It was bitter, and she didn't much fancy the taste of it, but it felt good on her throat and calmed her anxiety with credible effect. There came a small knock at the door as she was taking a small sip. Her back went rigid, and she appeared very much like a scared cat in the sense that if she had a tail, it would be standing straight up in the air with the fur all on end. Evey was about to stand up to answer when the door opened, seemingly on its own accord, because the man on the other side of the doorway was not touching the handle at all.

She stared in amazement as the man in the black cloak, wide-rimmed hat, and white mask entered and turned to close the door. She was so unaware of herself that she nearly dropped her glass, but caught herself just in time and set it on the table along with the hot pack.

Evey stood up, walked swiftly but silently around the couch until she stood directly in front of him five feet away. She stopped there, and looked him up and down. He seemed in perfect health, as though he had never been shot to death (well, alright then, nearly to death, as it now seemed) by ten government gunmen. Evey's face grew rather stony. She took a few steps forward, hesitantly and very much full of disbelief that the man should be standing here in front of her.

"Evey—"

"Shut up," Evey replied quickly, harshly, and quietly.

There was such power in her voice, that V did just that with no protest. Evey was unsure why, but thought it must have something to do with him understanding her fury and being quite, _quite_ sorry. But of course, not being inside his head, she did not _know_ any of this.

Evey took another step towards him, a bit more determined this time. She was now close enough to touch him, which she would do in a moment, and she could feel his eyes burning through the cloth eye slits of the mask and studying her nearly as much as she studied him. Slowly, as if unprepared, Evey reached out her quivering hand. She heard no sharp intake of breath from behind the mask; in fact, his breath rate seemed to stay quite as steady as her permanently racing heart, though much slower and far calmer.

Her fingers just touched the warm metal of the mask and a shock passed over her body. Over a year had passed since she had felt that satin-like, feather-weight mask. As her palm closed over the cheek of the mask, a small tear appeared in the corner of her eye.

"Why…?" She needn't finish the question; she knew he understood.

"I knew if you thought I was dead, that the world would—" V began in his deep voice.

"You lied to me, then."

V nodded his head slightly and she felt his gaze move off her face.

"And how many times you told me you were an honest man," Evey said, dropping her hand and turning away, her face once again cold.

"It was for your safety. I had no choice."

V took a step towards her, but she turned to face him, fury burning in every line of her entire body, rage pulsing through her, shock and sadness and viciousness crowding her face all at once. She knew that she was over reacting, perhaps a little, but she thought she had the right.

"Get out."

Her voice was soft, quiet, and treacherous; perhaps more terrifying then if she had a rocket launcher in her hands.

"But Evey, you've got to understand," V began, reaching towards her.

"LEAVE!" Her scream echoed through the ground level apartment. "Get out of my sight."

V hesitated a moment, then turned on his heel and swiftly walked out, the door slamming as quietly as a door can and still slam. Tears flowed down Evey's face. She sat back down on the couch and leaned forward, sobbing desperately into her hands. It was a moment before she felt a pain in her heart rather larger then that of betrayal. She contemplated this while her tears slowly stopped coming. Upon realizing what the feeling was, she leapt to her feet and rushed to the door. She pulled it open and called loudly and deeply.

"V!"

He did not come. She walked a few paces farther out into the cold night.

"V!" She called again, with no answer.

She stood a moment, waiting. Her heart seemed to be breaking for a fourth time, and a second that day. She had realized that the pain in her heart that was greater then that of betrayal was the feeling of loneliness. The feeling that she got no matter who she was with unless it was V. It was a lonesome, lovely feeling that she hated, but it made it all the better when she was with him.

She had stood for several long minutes, waiting, wanting, missing. V did not come. She called again, shakily and tearfully. Still he was nowhere to be seen. Evey turned to go back inside, head down, eyes glittering and foggy and quite hard to see out of. She walked a few steps forward and felt herself taken into unseen arms.

"V…" she whispered, not able to hold back anymore tears. They all came gushing out of her eyes and she flung her arms around his neck and quietly muttered; "I don't care, I don't care… I'm sorry… I missed you. V… I love you."

-

**Authors Note:** Bwahaha… To be continued… -evil grin-


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